Full Moon

I am inspired tonight after a week of long walks with my dog, a full moon, the smell of fresh blooms & bbq's and a week of crazy emotions.  Sure everything is in balance right?  This week I was not as excited and fulfilled as I had been.   I can not explain it but somehow I could not bring in my joy fully.  Of course these are the ups and downs of life.
All is well on the business front.  Cleaning business is thriving, growing and my partner has it under control, so thankful that we have turned a corner.    Pathways is getting organized and this week I implemented a Friday lunch with my crew, so that we could check in weekly to maker sure that we are all cohesive in our branding and vibrational message.  Monday meetings are in full swing as we continue to plan for the non profit roll out.  Yes, we were on track, however this week I have been down in the dumps.  I tried everything to come out of this, I took my friend to Boulder to have lunch and see an Apothecary that I would love to model ours after, I walked each night, howled at the moon and even played my music so loud that my soul would move, but each day was unfulfilled.  It was not until tonight where I finally found peace.  I hate having such little control of my emotions.  I tried everything but then on a side note, I gave up bread and most dairy this week too.   Damn life is so confusing... could it be as simple as that?  How about love?  I am also misplaced by my heart longing for love and peace.  Old emotions from the past rolled in and tried to take over, just thankful for the fortunate gift of consciousness and the fact that I do not ever go backwards in life.
What really is this blog about?  Maybe this is the epitome of finding happiness in the weeds, because this week I tried and worked to change my confusion to happiness consciously and no matter what I told myself, I could not move through the emotions.
So funny, I was watching wheel of fortune with my father this week and thought, damn Pat Sajak is always happy.  That is his job! Well it is my job too, as I cant be a leader if I am too caught up in my own emotions for days at a time.   What I found is that I can not always control the downs no matter how hard I try, you just have to wait for that divine timing and be open to the lessons that are presenting themselves.  I know the lesson that I had to learn this week, I was faced with a choice. Patients or self-sabotage.  As much as I yearned to sabotage myself, I still allowed myself to emit flaws in public but at the same time I was aware and allowed myself the space to move through the emotions.  This was a fucking hard week, but I nailed it...kind of.  And if I didn't, there is always next month.

Stepping into new roles and opening up to new possibilities

The goal for this week was to complete training of my amazing team.  In all of my businesses and at the same time a powerful woman rose to the occasion and stepped into management.  Daphne is now the Business manager of Pathways Holistic Center,  Mari is head of marketing, Teresa has become the Apothecary manager and Anna has brilliantly stepped into partner/manager of One Source Cleaning.   What I thought was going to be a chaotic week where I would be pulled in so many directions, I was taken by complete surprise.  By Thursday these women had full control and responsibility of their place in our business and for the first time I found myself at one desk, behind one computer working on all of the things that I have had to put off.  I can not believe I had attempted to do all of this work myself.  

So Today, as I ponder what to write about, I felt a celebration was in order. Whew, I kept all of that above water for 15 months and managed not to drown in the process but there is no doubt how close I came to that.  Today just for a moment while swamped in the day to day tasks of paying bills, to-do's, emails and phone calls, I celebrated that process of where I was, who I was and who I have become.  I embraced the fact that every bit of control in my life has vanished and a clean slate was born.  It may have been 15 months, but today I saw the first breath of life into those businesses. This week I let go and as my hand unwrapped from the strings to the unknown, I witnessed something taking flight.  

I think I will settle in nicely as the owner/visionary of my businesses.  I realized by letting go, I could accomplish so much more.  With gratitude for my new team I can see abundance, process and form.  My next quest will be to design a system for the accounting and then move on toward creating my biggest vision yet, Touchstone Natural Healing Corporation which is our non-profit. The difference between who I was 15 months ago and who I am today was the realization that thoughts do create reality, the idea that controlling the future is pointless and that love, integrity and authenticity are the keys to abundance & success.  

April is Balance

                                                                         "Balance"

I thought this week I would take a moment to update my happiness project.   April was to be about cooking healthy nutritious meals at home but this is not happening.  April is lending itself to be more hectic than March, however the difference is that I can see all of the hard work in April will shower me with love & peace in May.  This is the tunnel and I can see light.  This month I have taxes to finish, people to train & just as soon as I get that done we start moving into our new home.  All of these strenuous tasks lead to a better life for the kids and I.  I guess you could say "how hard would it be to cook nutritious meals at home and I do, don't get me wrong, but my vision is a beautiful system that lends it self to the joy of cooking again".   That takes some work and I guess I don't really feel at home right now, it is more place where my things are while in transition.  It is full of boxes and remnants of a past life that has vanished before my eyes.  As I find the greater meaning of the situation I realize that I don't want to start all over there even for a brief moment, so I let the past escape me as I look into a future of the unknown.  It is a blank slate, a new beginning if you will.   New rules, new ways and new creations.

In April, I find balance.  This month I will be training, setting up systems and creating the foundation for a bright new future for my business and personal life.  Life is good and I can see that with a little balance in my routine, a lot creativity, belief and that clean slate I will begin to draw my dreams to reality.

A new day, A new business

What an action packed month March was.  If there was an emotion I felt it and if there was a challenge I faced it.  To break it down quickly, we bought a house, helped my folks move from Florida, turned 40 in Vegas and created a completely new business plan and strategy.  

I can hardly catch up on my work possibly because I was out of town for half the month or maybe I cant catch up because as with everything in spring business is blooming.  After last weeks blog, I realized that I had to get into gear and with that I realized it is time to replace myself.  It was time to move to ownership rather spending my day putting our fires.  With this realization I have hired someone who's specialty is creating systems.  I hired her for 20 hours and made a commitment to myself to find a way to manifest the money to move her to full time by May 1st.  I must also say that another woman was called to Pathways to donate her time and she is helping me get the operating system up and running.  This was the piece that too was holding us back from expansion as I could not find the time to simply learn the system.  She is also creating orders, making blends for customers, researching new products and revising the Apothecary.  Our business is blessed!

In addition, spirit brought me another gift.  A woman that I had been working with in my cleaning company showed up ready to take over the day to day in this company as well.  At first, I was in resistance because this was the money that I had been using for a year to keep Pathways afloat.  However, as we were talking and writing up an agreement I was being told to let it go and that this was what I had been asking for for the last 8 months.  Both were conscious decisions to choose a better way of life for myself.  To work in a capacity that will allow more abundance to flow to us all.   

On a spiritual level after making this commitment to my business & life I have never felt so in control in my ability to manifest my reality.  This might have to do with the fact that after all that I have been through personally, I realized how little control I have of the outcome of my future.  Living in the moment and creating reality with my thoughts may seem like a crazy idea, but it is truth and I see it in my life everyday.    

So this week, I stepped back, yes I did!  I realized finally that the day to day is not my job anymore.  I gave myself a promotion an advancement if you will to owner/visionary of my dream.  Welcome April.

Business planning 101

This month I was faced with some strategic planning, but also I am happy to announce that Touchstone Natural Healing Corporation is now a 501c3 with a mission to provide financial support for qualified individuals to facilitate compassionate healing for mind, body and spirit.   This has been a dream of mine and it is becoming reality.  I am so lucky to have a group of qualified and compassionate holistic healers to bring this vision into reality.  Now that the paperwork is in order, what is the next step?

Well thankfully my coaching session this month started me off in just the direction that I needed to go.  That coaching session was overwhelming and so frustrating to me.  I knew exactly what I need to do and it was what I have been needing to do for a long time.  I need to get my business defined, up and running.  After the session, I was pretty depressed until someone told me that if you are feeling that frustrated, it is because you are on to something.  Good thing the coaching program is a full year, because I am going to need it.   

I had declared March as movement month for me and as most of you are aware, my life is changing and moving a lot right now.  After the session the kids and I flew to Florida to help my parents move and I had a solid 24 hours of driving back to ponder my business plan.  I realized that it is time for Pathways to pull ahead and get into business mode.  This was the only way for our non-profit to thrive as well. 

When I stepped into the office on Friday the first thing I did was hire the perfect person to help me to get there.  Not only does Daphane have experience with non-profits and Holistic Business, she also knows how to say NO and stay on track.  She will be running the front and helping me to create that structure.  

I have also teamed up with another amazing woman who shares my passion for the 

apothecary and oils as I am not about to let the love of my life linger in the balance.   I want all facets of this business to rise together, I just need more help.   One of the greatest realizations that I had over the last couple of weeks was that it is 100% true that at this moment I do not have the capacity to do it all or even give more that 20% in any direction right now and that is OK.

In addition I have personally invited 10 holistic practitioners to join Pathways in a new level of membership.  They will be the first practitioners that we will begin to build our program and menu of services around.  It is great to narrow the scope a bit while we are getting things started.  This month was a little haywire but I’m getting there. 

Now just one more thing to do this week and that is turning 40 in Las Vegas.  If I make it through March, April will be a breeze.  

Let’s get the story behind the story.

I have been trying to get this “branding” figured out by myself and after this month’s coaching session I thought I was stepping up to the plate with power in my corner and a perfect strike coming down the shoot.  However I swung and completely missed. 

Clearly messaging has been a little difficult for me in my business and the big question for me is why? 

2 years ago I had no idea that I would be where I am at today, both in business and in my personal life.  2 years ago I was running the office of a framing company and was desperately searching for a business that I could do of my own.  A business that would give me financial stability because that is what we needed most. 

Over the next 1.5 years I went back to school and finally saw the light of passion ahead.  Soon I had an opportunity to take over a place where I used to get my massages.   It wasn’t just a building it was a special place for many people and a big opportunity for a career change.  In order to take on this building I had to look towards another opportunity to take on a cleaning business.  So, that is what I did.  What I thought was supposed to be the beginning of my life was also the end of the life I knew.  In this time my husband left me because I was too distracted figuring out two businesses, full time in school and even still helping at the kid’s school.  How can finding my passion create so much havoc in my life?  Finding the beauty in my work was supposed to make everything else better but instead I lost everything I knew as truth over the last 10 years.  Every reason behind my story disappeared. 

There was no business plan or business for that matter in that 3000 sf building.  I hustled to fill the rooms and worked tirelessly every day, creating everything from scratch.  Just when I overcame one obstacle another arrived, probably the most challenging was trying to figure out how to run a cleaning business when I had very little experience, but it was paying the bills and required some attention.  I had no plan.  I just took over another business to help me by time till I could figure out what the hell I had done.  Probably my greatest strength in business is my ability to take risks though I knew that walking into this opportunity was a gift and giving up was the only way to fail. The only thing I knew was that I cannot give up.

The holistic field is one that asks you to go within and opens you up to your intuitive side.  This field requires self-healing and when you are confronted with a feeling you do not push it down, you ask why?  Each time I figured out one problem and how to solve it, another presented itself and required my full attention.  I created systems, memberships and finally got my website up while simultaneously my personal life as I knew it was falling away from me.  There is no surprise as to why my messaging is so confusing, because this was not just a business it was a complete life overhaul.

 

The practitioners who have been with me for the long haul always say “Jill is always changing things”, and I would go into defense mode as if I had something to prove to everyone on my path.  I did this because I was always questioning every move that I made as if I didn’t belong there in the first place.  What do I have to offer after all I am newer to this field than any practitioner that I was working with? 

This week after my coaching session, I felt was given the permission to start creating my business and that I need to be very clear on what that is to me and only me for now.  I was asked to do a few forecasts to explore business development in order to get a sense of where to put my money for the best return and what is the best return on the services that I can offer.  This is an opportunity for me to not put the cart before the horse, this is research baby.  So, that is what I will do next.  Also as I am writing I realize that when I speak about Pathways Holistic Center I always say “we” as if there is a mouse in my pocket.  As to not offend, even with all of the weight on my shoulders I never speak from my power center as a business owner the way I did in construction and I challenge myself now to see if this too can shift. 

Still moving forward Pathways has begun receiving more attention and it is time to get the message straight.  What are we selling, who is selling it and what is the value being offered.  I think this may have been the most introspective coaching session yet, because it was the most frustrating for me.  This week I am still training volunteers and getting my time management under control, however in the next 10 days, I am going to put on my big girl panties and start looking at the numbers.  I’m a numbers gal anyway, so why have I been shying away for so long.  Is it simply because we don’t talk the same way about money and numbers like we do in construction?  What are the possibilities if I shift this thinking as well?  Enough talk, it is time to get the pencil to the paper and create that dang plan.  

Time Management vs. Branding

This month for my coaching program I was challenged to write down what I do all day after I told my coach Noam Kostucki how overwhelmed I felt.   This lasted about 2 days.  The first day, I was pretty proud as I went from meeting to meeting to meeting but the next day, I went from meeting to paperwork, to emails, to lunch, to picking up a sick kid, to having a surprise meeting, to paying bills, to chatting with my mom, to selling products and then having a drink.  Whoa, that type of chaos made me feel overwhelmed just writing it down.  So yes, I stopped and thought maybe if I just knew what I wanted to do and spend my time doing that I could get help with the rest and maybe just maybe get to feel less depleted.   

In order to draw more focus, I have been seeing a marketing coach weekly at Pathways to hone in on my message.  The comedy is that each week we host a meet up group called Conscious Business Connection where I have to stand up and tell everybody what I do.  Each week, it sounds different and I can promise you that even today only about 10% of the people could convey what I do to someone else.  Am I a director/owner of Pathways Holistic Center?   A reflexologist/ Aromatherapist?   A young living distributor?  The owner of an Apothecary?  The owner of a holistic Cleaning & Construction business?  The founder of a non-profit for Holistic Wellness?  Sounds like a bit of a crazy person when you rattle it off, doesn’t it? 

Most of them see me as the director of pathways and although this is quite a title, I am not sure I even understand what this means to me.  I have been putting blood, sweat, tears and money into Pathways for so long it has become an extension of who I am like my right arm, not so much what I do.  However over the recent months, Pathways is transforming into the place that it was meant to be and again although I kept the doors open and held the space, it is becoming an entity of its own.   Pathways has become a community center for holistic health professionals to meet their clients, start their own businesses and to hold classes & workshops.  As this was my vision from the beginning, month after month I began to feel like I was a volunteer.  This moment of shift was the most profound change that Pathways has experienced yet.  When I realized that I was just a volunteer, a load was completely lifted from my shoulders as I made the decision to have more volunteers.  So it begins, finally with the release of one load, the clarity is bringing my own passions into focus.    

As an entrepreneur first, business is my love but where do I focus so that I can create the most happiness in my life, focus my marketing to achiever abundance and help people in a way that serves both of our higher selves.  So let me introduce my passion.   I am the owner and creator of a product line called A vida é boa and the owner of Healthy Home Apothecary.  We are located at Pathways Holistic center in Fort Collins. 

So with this, I am focusing on what I love and creating a place for myself to grow, expand and most of all utilized my marketing money for something that I am passionate about.  Next step is to get a new logo & sign for the Apothecary and start to building products.  Do what you love, love what you do and make money at it.